EXTRACT FROM:UNLIMITED POWERHow often do you speak to a loved one and later realise that you didn't handle it well, you used the wrong words, said the wrong things, in fact you weren't in the right state of mind to communicate. Therefore, if there was a problem, you've only made it worse, not better. Anthony Robbins says, in his book Unlimited Power:
There are quite a few disadvantages to putting yourself into a negative state before communicating your feelings to a loved one. Instead of having them yell at each other, Virginia Satir (mentioned elsewhere in the book but she was/is a master at marriage guidance/relationship counselling and the founders of NLP modelled her techniques) has her patients look at each other as they did when they first fell in love. She asks them to speak to each other as they spoke when they first fell in love. And she continues throughout the session to stack positive anchors (triggers) so that seeing each other’s faces now causes them to feel great about each other. From this state they can resolve their problems through clear communication, without harming the other person’s feelings. In fact, they treat each other with so much caring and sensitivity that it sets up a new pattern, a new way to resolve problems in the future.
I highly recommend this book, in addition to Gary Chapman's 5 Languages of Love (available from this website - see Recommended Reading), if you want to make changes to the important relationships in your life.
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